The Art of Surviving While Healing
There's this myth about healing that nobody talks about enough: the idea that you have to stop surviving before you can start healing. That you need to pause your entire life, take a sabbatical from reality, and focus solely on your trauma recovery before you can move forward.
Let me tell you something I've learned both as a survivor and as an attorney representing thousands of others - that's not how it works for most of us. And honestly? That's okay.
You Don't Get to Press Pause on Life
When I was in law school, burying myself in constitutional law textbooks and trial advocacy competitions, people would ask me how I managed to excel academically while dealing with my own trauma. The truth is, I didn't have a choice. Bills don't stop coming. Deadlines don't pause for your healing journey. Life keeps moving whether you're ready or not.
But here's what I learned: surviving and healing aren't mutually exclusive. They happen simultaneously, messily, and often in ways that don't look like the Instagram version of recovery.
Some days, healing looked like showing up to class even when I wanted to stay in bed. Other days, it looked like allowing myself to cry in my car between meetings. And sometimes, it looked like channeling my rage into legal briefs that would eventually help other survivors get justice.
The Myth of Linear Healing
We're sold this narrative that healing is linear - that you start broken, work through your trauma, and emerge whole on the other side. But that's not reality. Healing looks more like a spiral. You circle back to the same issues at different levels, sometimes feeling like you're right back where you started, only to realize you're actually seeing things from a higher vantage point.
I still have hard days. Days when a particular case hits too close to home. Days when institutional betrayal in the courtroom mirrors the institutional betrayal that hurt me years ago. Days when I question whether I'm strong enough to keep fighting.
And you know what? That doesn't mean I'm not healed. It means I'm human.
Surviving Looks Different Than You Think
When I'm in court, cross-examining a hospital administrator about their failure to protect patients, I'm surviving. When I'm writing motions at midnight because a survivor's case keeps me up, I'm surviving. When I'm celebrating a settlement victory while privately processing my own triggers, I'm surviving.
Surviving isn't just about making it through the immediate crisis. It's about building a life that honors both your pain and your power. It's about creating meaning from what happened to you, even when that meaning comes in unexpected forms.
For me, that meaning came through law school, through representing other survivors, through using my story to change systems that failed people like us. Your meaning might look completely different, and that's exactly as it should be.
Permission to Be Both
Here's what I wish someone had told me earlier: you can be healed and still be healing. You can be successful and still be struggling. You can be a source of strength for others while still needing support yourself.
I'm a partner at a top law firm. I've secured millions in settlements. I'm recognized as a rising star in my field. And I'm also someone who sometimes needs an extra moment before walking into a hospital for a client meeting. Both of those things are true, and neither invalidates the other.
This is the art of surviving while healing - holding space for all of your realities at once.
What This Looks Like Practically
Set Boundaries Without Guilt Some cases I can't take because they're too close to my own experience. Some events I can't attend because they'll trigger me. That's not weakness - that's wisdom.
Find Your Own Timeline Society wants you healed on its schedule. Ignore that. Your healing happens at exactly the pace it needs to happen. There's no deadline for processing trauma.
Use What You've Learned Every piece of your survival story has value. For me, that meant using my legal education to fight for others. For you, it might mean something completely different. But your experience isn't wasted - it's information.
Accept the Contradictions You can be grateful for your growth and still angry about what happened. You can forgive without forgetting. You can move forward while still processing the past. Contradictions don't mean you're doing it wrong - they mean you're doing it honestly.
Ask for Help I have a therapist. I have trusted friends who know my story. I have colleagues who understand when I need to step back from certain cases. Asking for support isn't admitting defeat - it's recognizing that none of us were meant to do this alone.
To the Survivors Reading This
If you're waiting for the "right time" to heal - when life calms down, when you have more money, when you feel stronger - I want you to know that there is no perfect time. The right time is whenever you decide to start, even if you're still in the middle of surviving.
You don't have to choose between making it through the day and working on your healing. You can do both. In fact, sometimes they're the same thing.
The art of surviving while healing isn't about doing it perfectly. It's about doing it authentically. It's about honoring where you are while remaining open to where you're going. It's about building a life that acknowledges your past without being imprisoned by it.
And here's the truth that took me years to understand: you're not waiting to start living until you're healed. You're living right now. This is your life. This moment, with all its messy contradictions and unfinished business, this is it.
So survive. And heal. And survive some more. Do both at the same time, in whatever way works for you. Give yourself permission to be exactly where you are while moving toward where you want to be.
Because the art of surviving while healing isn't about reaching some mythical finish line where you're finally "over it." It's about learning to carry your story with grace while building a future that honors both what you've lost and what you've gained.
And from where I'm standing - in a courtroom, fighting for survivors who are doing exactly what you're doing - I can tell you that this messy, non-linear, contradictory journey of surviving while healing? It's not just okay.
It's revolutionary.
If you're struggling with the balance of surviving and healing, please reach out to a mental health professional. The National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673) can connect you with local resources. You don't have to do this alone
Symone Shinton, Esq.
The Law Offices of Symone Shinton
Where Survivors Speak and Are Heard